I am working on a business website, not for me, but I have finally taken time to add to mine.

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I went to join a gym and said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'',

Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I met a lovely Dutch girl wearing inflatable shoes but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.




A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''

Someone locally is making these and leaving them for people to find on their walks.  It started during the lockdown and  is still being carried on to date and people are overjoyed when they find one. 

We don't know who is making them, nor do we want to know, that is part of the thrill of finding one.   I have one, but not what I found.  It is from someone who found two and gave me one, but it is not the sqame.   Should I be lucky enough to come across one, I'll pass mine to someone else.

I am on a neighbourhood group facebook page.  A gentleman posted this to try and find the culprits.  Unfortunately for him, it dissolved everyone in to fits of laughter and certainly cheered us all up!

If you think that I'm going outside in this weather, you have got another think coming!

Meet Chops, he is my birthday present from my family.  I call him chops because I love the chucking the round cheeks and mouth  of French Bulldogs etc.

I always tell my 2 grandchildren, that they are my favourite grandson and daughter and the always say "we're your only ones".

The other day I asked my grandson what he would think if I had another grandson and he told me that he would always be my favourite grandson.  TRUE!

I asked the same question of my granddaughter and she said she would be very nice and kind to another granddaughter.  Now that may seem very sweet, but never understimate feminine wiles.  I read it that she would keep another granddaughter on her side and in her place  while still retaining her position as favourite granddaughter.

I was reading about Bristol University allowing  students to identify as cats and it reminded me of the cat man prank Ant and Dec played on Jeremey Kyle in the USA.

I went to Manchester to see the live show and travelled up by coach.   I reserved a seat at the front as I like to see straight ahead.  I got ready to get in my seat when the lady behind told me the seat was reserved. Yes, I know.  She then told me you had to book it.  Yes I know.  Then she said that you have to  pay to book it and the driver had aready turned people away from.  Yes, I know, I booked it", I said, and sat down. She went quiet, but continued  to guard the booked seats to my left from unbooked passengers.

When we got back on the coach after a break, she asked if she could sit in the special front disabled seat as it was empty.   When she got up from behind me to get into  I realised that the poor lady was enormous and actually took up two seats.  Apparently she had tried to sit in mine and she was the person the driver redirected to an unreserved seat, that's why she making sure that no one sat in the reserved seats if they hadn't booked!

 I put together a short film from my edited videos that I took at the tour on Sunday.  It was too long to upload in one piece so I made Part 1 and Part 2.

I have put myself into isolation until next weekend.  Can't risk catching Covid at this late stage and missing the Strictly Tour!

It is sad to hear that Meatloaf has died.

I remember an interview with him when he was asked about his two daughters' potential boyfriends. "I used to tell her to get them to call for her, then I'd tell them to come in", he said, "then I'd tell them that she must be home by a certain time. They always brought her home on the dot, or even sooner"! I wonder why!

This is my favourite song of his  which I think many of us can personally relate to, I know I can. Two of whom may read this, one doesn't.  Hey Ho, two out of three aint bad! Followed by Hot Summer Night (You Took The Words Out Of My Mouth).  

RIP Meatloaf

Well, I've got a front row seat at the edge of  the dance floor, for the Strictly Tour.  Have ticket will travel!!