I have decided to consolidate My Garden and Eastenders in to my Weekly Blog now.

SORE KNEE/BABYSITTING

I mentioned before that I fell up a step in to the hotel room in Bangkok. Since then the pain in my knee has been non stop.  It appears that I have probably got a meniscal tear, which footballers get.  The part affected is called the cruciate.  If the term "excrutiating pain" is anything to go by, it is an accurate description of this injury.  

I had little baby boy and girl on Saturday.  We took them out on Sunday to the Range to look at some garden furniture.  After they bounced the balls, swung on the garden swings and got in to the outdoor jacuzzi (empty of course), we decided we would be better off looking on our own another time and headed off to the country park.  It is definitely a cheap option and keeps them occupied.

The plan for the country park was to test the boomerang we had brought back from Australia. Unfortunately, silly me should have realised that if you have two children with you they should have one each to throw. There was such a squabble over who was going to hold it in the car and then tears when we got there as to who was going to hold it the park.  In the end, none of them got to hold it, as it was put back in the car instead!

Little baby girl found a photo of her mum and dad holding Biff, my late dog, about 7 years ago. She told little boy that she missed Biff and wished he was still around.

"Well he's dead", he said, "and he is never going to come back again ever, so you won't see him again!"

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!

 

🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

 

DEAR CUSTOMER/PATIENT

WE KNOW HOW IMPORTANT 
THAT MOBILE PHONE CALL 
YOU ARE MAKING IS, SO WE 
WILL NOT ATTEMPT TO SERVE 
YOU OR MAKE YOU AN APPOINTMENT
UNTIL YOU HAVE FINISHED IT.

 
 
 

HE's GOT TALENT

RECOGNISE ANY ONE YOU KNOW?!!!!

EASTER BREAK

My little baby boy and baby girl, stayed with me for a couple of days last week while their mum was at work.  I had to take my stepfather to the hospital so they came with us.  I use a coin deposit wheelchair to get him around the hospital quickly.  He went with the nurse for his appointment, but she told him not to leave the wheelchair unattended in the Waiting Area as opportunists come along and take to it to retrieve the £1 back at the entrance!

Little baby boy sat in the wheelchair and I suggested that he try and break the record of not talking and balancing his empty paper cup on his head.  He did so earnestly, but eventually realised it was a con to keep him quiet and gave up.

Little baby girl played to the Waiting Room audience.  "Your hair smells of strawberries Gran", she said.  "You are lovely as well Gran" she said.   Then the killer "You are beautiful and I love you Gran", she uttered.  By now the hankies were coming out and the woman next to me said she was welling up!   Once baby girl had their full attention, she mischievously said, "Gran your stinky".  Which had them rolling with the laughter.,  At least they hadn't had a boring wait for their appointments that day.

As the routine  little baby boy has got in to is to present a show when his parents pick them up.  he set to work on his Easter Show.  He cut the front of a box out and made it in to a TV screen.  He got me to print off Easter pictures and he wrote his own message inside them. then he wrote out the whole script for his show and read it back as he performed it.  I was impressed as I had nothing to do with it really.

AUSTRALIAN HOLIDAY

MIND THE STEP!!

AUSTRALIA AND BANGKOK

Well, I've just returned from 2 weeks in Australia. It was only booked a week before we decided to go. I first went in 2,000 to Adelaide and it was cold and wet, but this time we went to Perth where the weather was lovely and warm. It was their Autumn, but more like our height of summer.

One thing I learned, due to it being warm and sunny every day, Australians like to get up at sunrise and go to bed earlier. This is something we in England are not used to as most mornings it is chilly and dull and there is no reason to get up early, unless you have to go to work. If we had gorgeous sunshine every day, I would leap out of bed!

As I have seemed to fall over every time I have gone on holiday, this time was no exception. I had just got in to the pool with our friend who assured me she could teach me to swim - good luck with that then, no one has managed to teach me yet! I walked over to the side of the pool to take a glass of drink from someone, when I tripped up the steps in the pool and fell over, breaking the glass and cutting my wrist on it. Luckily she is a nurse!

We went to their local park and it was amazing mixing with kangaroos and feeding the parrots in the trees at the outside eating area.

They had a natural habit for koalas there and I was amazed to see a koala at eye level, in the day time, munching on the eucalyptus leaves and looking at us. It is something many Australians haven't seen. They are usually at the top of the tree, hugging the trunk which camouflages them. It is a personal memory I shall treasure.

After hearing a black and white bird singing beautifully, we got a lovely picture of it.  Felt a bit silly when we were informed that it was a magpie!!!

I stayed with my cousin as well. My aunt was one of the £10 Poms who took the assisted passage scheme many years ago. It was due to my Aunty writing a short autobiography addressed for my other cousin that actually gave me the idea to write my own. This time my cousin gave me a print out of the complete my Aunty had written and I have put it in my Autobiography Update, as obviously it pre-dates mine and I was absolutely fascinated by it.

We also went to Busseltown where there is a very long pier (however the Southend Pier is slightly longer). They built an underground room 8 metres under the water at the end of it. It was unbelievable. I have seen sea life in man made aquariums, but nothing could top this. The struts holding up the pier, built in the sea bed were covered in the most beautiful plants attached to them. We were told that they were living creatures, as plants need light to grow and not underwater. Shoals of fish passed the windows, anchovies then herring. Beautifully coloured tropical fish swam by and the odd large strangely shaped fish swam past each window as though it was saying "look at me". After seeing this, I totally understand people's fascination with Scuba Diving. It was hard to realise that this sea life was going on when you looked over the pier at the sea water.


We had a stop over in Bangkok waiting for the connecting flight and so we booked in to a hotel for a rest. No I didn't disappoint with my quest to fall down in every country I go to! The hotel room had a 3" step when you opened the door. When you are carrying bags and you open the door, you don't expect this.

I went flying on to the stone floor, badly hurting my toes and bruising the inside of my leg. It is still very painful and seriously limited my ability to walk anywhere fast.

 

Bangkok Airport was a very daunting place, especially with the immigration staff. I felt guilty and I hadn't done anything. They were so stern and fierce. Whatever possesses people to smuggle drugs in to their country, I do not know, especially with the consequences when they are caught.

However, they were obviously hard workers, because a lot of the staff had probably returned to work earlier than they should from sickness, as they were considerately wearing surgical masks as they didn't want to pass their germs on to us!!!!!!!

 

Before I left, I planted a lot of seeds and left them growing on the table in the conservatory, well watered. My lovely neighbour kept them watered for me. On my return they were growing profusely, there was only one problem, I put the packets in the trays to identify what I had planted. unfortunately, the water rotted them and now I will have to try and guess what they are!!

A QUICK TRIP TO THE SHOPS

I popped over to the Range to get some bits for the garden.  As I passed a gift shop, a lady and her daughter were looking at doormats which said "An Old Grump and a Beautiful Person Live Here" and she pointed it out to her.

I made a remark that we all have one of them (Grump) and she said she hadn't but would like one. "My husband died 3 weeks ago", she said, before bursting into tears.  Cue apology from me to the daughter and a quick exit from the shop.

Then as I was looking at the solar powered lights, a lady pushing her husband in a wheelchair said she was looking for coloured ones.  I pointed them out to her.  She thanked me and said she wanted them for her bush.  She told me she had a large bush, and thought 50 lights would do.  "I do like it when my bush is lit up", she said.   

I bought a solar lizard to put on my garden wall, to light up at night as it was half price.  It reminded me the time I was talking to an ex military policeman who had been based in Cyprus. Little tiny lizards or geckos nicknamed "chit chats" are quite common there and often come in to the houses.  An army wife, who had just arrived in Cyprus, rang the guardroom to report a lizard across her livng room wall.  They assured her that it was only a chit chat and was quite harmless.  She rang a bit later to inform them that it was still there.  They told her it woud eventually go. 

She rang a third time to say it was still there and was getting quite distressed about it, so he went along to her house to shoo it away.  When he got there he found a large monitor lizard spread along the whole width of the wall!

 

 

LOVE THE WAY SHE TRIES TO SHUT THE DOOR WITHOUT BEING SEEN

THE SAGA OF THE HEARING AID

 

My stepfather was complaining that his hearing aid was playing up and making an intermittent “ding dong” noise and he took it out.  He had changed the battery and it was no better.  As I was back shouting at him to make him hear, I got him an appointment with the Audiology Department for today.     The Audiologist tested his hearing aid and said it was a warning that the battery needed changing which he said he done, but to no avail.

She looked in his hearing  appointments diary which housed his pack of batteries in a plastic pocket and asked him what he did with the old batteries.  She showed me the pack and the penny started to drop as he put the old battery in the slot where the new battery came from.  The new batteries had a blue spot on the bottom and he put the old ones back upside down so they were just metal.

 

It turned out that he had put an old battery in by mistake!  From now on he is going to put the old batteries in a separate container, but it won’t happen again now that I know what to do, I can assure you of that.  One good thing did come of it though, she adjusted the volume higher, as I think he had got it too low anyway. 

Our next visit was to his GP for a check up. The doctor got his thermometer out ready to take his temperature from his ear.  "In your ear", he said.  My stepfather opened his mouth.  "No it's in your ear", I said. "Oh" said SF, "I thought he said in here", pointing to his mouth.

Next the GP listened to his chest.  "Deep breaths in and out", he said.  So far, so good.   "Now breathe normal", said the GP.  My stepfather began to go bright red in the face.   "Breathe out", said the doctor, looking a bit worried.  My SF spluttered and gasped for breath.  "You said breathe no more doctor", he said.  

On the way home I mentioned that Bruce Forsyth had just been in intensive care fo 5 days and was going home today.. "Yes", said SF, he is going to get the next series of Strictly sorted out"  Where did you see that then", I said.  "On the news today", he replied.

Well, I am certainly glad that they fixed the problem with hearing aid earlier, goodness knows what he would have heard if they hadn't!!!

 

27. Feb, 2017

LITTLE BABY BOY'S BIRTHDAY

Well, the idea that I would have more time on my hands after Christmas didn't come to anything. I have been even busier!

It was little baby boy's birthday yesterday.  Time really does fly by.  He got a magic set from his great Aunty and Uncle and set about trying to do tricks, oblivious to his mother telling him that he should learn the instructions first of all.  He proceeded to put a ball in a pot, saying he was going to make it do magic, tapped it with his magic wand and hey presto, it was still there! He blamed the magic set for not doing magic! He has seen magic on the TV and takes it at face value, whereas we adults know the truth behind it.  He assumed that as it was a box of magic tricks, they would work automatically!  Apparently, today he and his mum are working on the "rabbit in the hat" trick!

JEREMY KYLE’s NEW ROMANCE

I read the article on this which likened to one of his shows as he was now in relationship with his children’s ex nanny.

Now, his wife left him for another man and he is now divorced. He emotionally as well as financially looks after his children.  The nanny obviously knows and loves the children.  None of those involved need the services of a dentist, or were hit by the ugly stick.   There is not a shell suit, old trainers, baseball cap or copious tattoos in sight.    

If this is going to be a new format for his morning show, count me out as a viewer.  TOO BORING! 

PIPPA'S WEDDING OF THE YEAR

 

Again, I read the newspaper article on this.icle on this. Everything was as I expected.  Top designer wedding dress, shoes, catering, venue, royal guests, etc, etc. Then I read something I couldn't believe.  She probably sent out Save the Day cards at Christmas.

 

So let me get this right.  You have booked up for a luxury holiday, celebratory function, or anything else that you could possibly have been looking forward to.  A wedding invitation comes through the post from Pippa.  "Oh what a shame, we will have to decline this invite to the most important wedding of the decadeattended by the royals and influential friends. It's a pity Pippa didn't send us a SAVE THE DAY Card".  Yeah right!

 

 

 

NEW YEAR IN ROTTERDAM

We enjoyed the cruise to see the fireworks in Rotterdam on New Year's Eve last year, so we went on it again for the New Year just gone. It wa a last minute decision at the beginning of December and I think this sometimes works out better than something you have been waiting most of the year for.

We travelled on the Eurostar from Ebbsfleet (15 mins from home) and met up with friends we had made last year.  UnfortuNately there was a lot of thick mist around so we didn't see the fireworks properly when we stood on the sun deck.  However, it was a lovely (all inclusive) trip, and a nice way to spend New Year's Eve.