MERRY CHRISTMAS

I take my widowed neighbour to see her sister in law who, unfortunately suffers from dementia, and is now in a lovely care home. They had booked a Christmas Panomime for the residents and their families and little children.  We duly went to see it.

The pantomime  was The Wizard of Oz put on by a little group of 4 people and was excellent.  When it began, Dorothy, her mother, uncle and brother sang a song and when it ended one of the residents yelled to them that it was rubbish.  She kept saying this as she walked up to them.  Another resident at the in the room  told her to "shut up you old cow"!  The staff led the first lady away from the cast and she was still saying that it was rubbish.  When she reached the area where the other lady was sitting, which resulted in a row between them and language not quite suitable for the young children watching the pantomime!

It culminated in a glass of water thrown by one of them at the other one and they both led away by the staff.

The cast were absolute troopers, carrying on regardless.  Me? I was helpless with laughter and an old JS workmate was in the audience as her father was a resident there.  I tapped her on the shoulder and said "this is going well then" and we were both helpless with laughter.  

I have booked a seat for next year!!

NB, the residents are lovely and I know that might be any one of us one day.

 

 

 

 

 

I have just had my little baby boy and girl for 2 sleeps before Christmas and we made a Christmas show as we usually do out of cardboard boxes and various other articles.  This this time I filmed it.  Unfortunately, I had turned off the video instead of on and as we had already had 3 takes, little baby boy refused to do the original one again.  So I had to make do with what I had already filmed.

When we were setting everything up, he said that he had told his uncle and aunty that he liked

 

 

to go to Gran's at Christmas, as he would be allowed in her Special Room which was only for adults, had plastic sheeting on the floor and chains along the wall and ceiling. I asked what they had said when he told them about it.  He said they said "that's nice".

I must hurriedly explain.  The Special Room, as my little baby boy and girl call it, is the living room I made upstairs for high days and holidays.  I had told them that no unacompanied children or animals were allowed in and no food or drink.  Hence mainly adults.

This didn't quite work out as I planned and I had the carpet cleaned last week.  To protect it I put plastic protecting sheets along the edges and areas were there was most footfall.  

As it was Christmas we had made some paper chains for the ceiling and walls.

It was where we filmed their Christmas Show, so they were looking forward to going in to it!!

When I went to pick them up, he had his playstation out and said he was playing GTA, which he was allowed to, as long as the sound was turned down and an adult in the room.  He said he liked the car chases.

When it started, I suddenly realised that there were topless pole dancers wearing tiny thongs.  I blurted out that they were in a Strip Club and he replied, "I know Gran, but don't worry, they are just starting off in there and then they will run out to start their cars".  Sure enough they did.

On the way to my house, the same journey that involved the underage drive analysis, he was talking about the GTA game.

"Gran", he said, "I know why it is called a Strip Club".   Agog, I tentatively asked him why.

Because the ladies only wear thin strips for knickers", he replied.

STEPFATHER's HEARING AID/SHOPPING TRIP

I had to take my SF yet again to have his hearing aid checked.  We have already 3 times before  due to the fact he had put the flat batteries back in that he had store in the same compartment as the new ones, turned it off when he thought he had found the background noise filter and twisted the wire and snapped it when he was cleaning it and was then shown the correct way to do it.

The same problem with his cleaning of it was what had caused it again.  He discovered he was cleaning it every day, when once a month would be fine.  He is banned from cleaning it until after Christmas!

After that we went to the supermarket to get is weekly shopping.  It was extremely busy and there were queues for the checkouts.   I got what I wanted and then saw he was in a very small queue and had his shopping laid out on the belt and was waiting.  He saw me and said "I unloaded my shopping and told the lady I was glad I had finished my shopping".  She said "that's good".   She then went off and hasn't come back.

I had suddenly realised that he was at the self service checkout where the goods actually going along on the conveyor belt before you self scan them.

"She wasn't the cashier", I said, "she was the customer in front of you".  Rather than cause a fuss by removing his items, I put them through for him.  He was completely baffled when told not to remove items from the bagging area, as he started to put them straight into his shopping bag.  We finally got through, but the contactless card reader was another story!  

SF AND EDF ELECTRICITY/I'M A CELEBRITY/LITTLE BABY BOY AND GIRL

EDF SMARTIE PHONE

SF AND EDF ENERGY

I always check all his correspondence, so he knows he is up to date with everything.  This morning he told me he had a letter from EDF, the jist of which was he should consider going on line to deal with his account!  Obviously this is never going to happen, so I told him he could dispose of it.    "OK", he said, "it is probably to do with the Smartie Phone that they installed in the hallway a while ago". 

 I'M A CELEBRITY 

I'm loving this it this year.   Holly seems to have cheered it all up a bit and Dec is very relaxed now.   Personally, I'm TEAM HARRY
.

LITTLE BABY BOY AND GIRL

I picked them up to come to stay with me for the night and little baby boy told me that he was going to race a Lamborghi at 2,000 miles across a desert.  He said knew how to drive as he has watched his dad.  "Well", I said, "you won't be driving for a long while yet".  He asked me why and before I could answer, little baby girl piped up, "because your feet won't reach the pedals"!

 

 

 

BUSY/SF AND THE MATTRESS TOPPER

BUSY

As some of you know I have been busy making a wedding video which is very time consuming.  Now I have finally finished it, I can concentrate of my blog and autobiography more now.  Those of you who have seen the video know that I do not put certain things I do not put in my blog for public viewing,  so I send them to the email address I have for you so that is why not all of you have seen it if I do not have yours.

 

SF AND THE MATTRESS TOPPER

A while ago, my step father bought a new mattress and I told him to get a mattress topper for it to make it more comfortable,he duly did.   I swear by mine.

 

When I was bringing him back from shopping last week, he asked me when he could take the bed thing off as it made his bed look as it if was pregnant and he had to juggle around the bump to make himself comfortable.

I hadn't a clue what he was on about ande went in to try and sort it out.  Sure enough there was a made bed with a massive mound in the middle of it.  I started to strip it and there under the bottom and sheet and mattress protected, was a mound of rolled up topper in the middle of it's cover.  It was where he had moved around in bed and it scrunched in to its cover.

I took it out of the cover and laid it flat on the bed and remade it.

 

I still don't know what he thought the mattress topper was supposed to do.  However, he's had much more comfortable sleeps since then.

 

BARGAIN!!

SF AND THE BIRTHDAY PARTY

My stepfather (SF) went to his nephew's birthday party last Saturday and I asked him how it went.  He told me it was a lovely evening.  It was in the grounds of a football club and there was a marquee and loads of food.  There was also line dancing and he thoroughly enjoyed himself.  He said that there was also bungee jumping.

Now one thing I have omitted to tell you was that this was a 60th birthday celebration and started around 7 in the evening.    His nephew has just had 2 knee replacements and most of the guests weren't spring chickens, but hey ho, you're only as young as you feel, they say so each to his own.

 

As it was in the gounds of a football club, it seemed a bit easier to imagine a crane and floodlights.  I was worried about the cost of the liability insurance and did they  have to produce medical certificates if they wanted to jump.

Fast forward 4 days and I was speaking to his other nephew who took him to the party.

"It was a brilliant night and we all had a lovely time", he said.

"Did you have a go at the jumping?" I asked.

 

"No", he said, "the giant bouncy castle was more suited to the youngsters!"

BRILLIANT!

PURPLE HAZE

Well my hair is back to purple again and even longer!

WOW!!

I THINK X FACTOR NOW HAS THE PERFECT PANEL OF JUDGES.

STEPFATHER'S HEARING AID PART 3/SCHOOL HOLIDAYS

SF'S HEARING AID PT 3

My SF couldn't hear a thing with his hearing aid which caused a few problems.  I checked for the problems we had before, ie, dead batteries and hearing aid turned off, to no avail.

Off we went to Audiology and it turned out that where he had been cleaning it, he had split the wire  and no sound was getting through.  It was sorted out with a new wire and instructions on how to clean it.

I told him to wait outside the hospital entrance while I got the car to pick him up.  As I approached there was some sort of commotion and he was sitting on the floor being helped by a few medical people.  He told them not to fuss and he was alright.  

When I was taking him home, he told me his left hand hurt, so I made him  some tea and made sure he had everything before I left.

The next day, the hand was painful and he found it hard to grip, so we trooped off to the Minor Injuries.  As there was no X ray facility after 5 pm, we arranged to come back the next day.  The X ray was clear, but the nurse gave him a wrist strap and told me she was letting the Fracture Clinic know and they would phone him with an appointment.

I suggested that she give them my number and she took it.

 

Last Friday, he told me he had a phone call from a lady, who told him to go to an appointment on  Tuesday, at 14.05 pm at the Aged Centre.  As it was the bank holiday weekend, I had to wait until first thing on the Tuesday morning to find out more about it.

Yes it was the right Tuesday and the time was correct, but it was at the Fracture Clinic not an Aged Centre.   We both agreed that it was a good job he had had his hearing aid repaired, or goodness knows what information he was giving me.

His hand is fine, just bruised and there are no broken bones.

SCHOOL HOLIDAYS

 

I had my little baby boy and girl for a few days last week as it is the summer holidays.  We watched episodes of Mr Bean on You Tube.  It reminded me of the time of my daughter's prize giving at the Grammar School.  Howard Goodall was the guest speaker.  He wrote the music for Mr Bean and adapted the 23 psalm for The Vicar of Dibley.

 

He told us how when he went up to Oxford in the first week, everyone went to join a group and he went to the table where Rowan Atkinson and Richard Curtis were, and the rest is history.

 

He  presented an award to the family of a very respected teacher at the school who had a music wing named in his memory.  Once it was presented, the head mistress told the family that they had to move out of the seats so the 6th Form prize recipients could sit there.  His face was an absolute picture when this was announced.

 

At the buffet afterwards I mentioned to him that this wouldn't have gone amiss in a Rowan Atkinson scenario.  He was too polite to comment!

JAMES VEITCH (SCAM EMAILS)

He has a great time replying to scam emails. I actually have a lot of fun when "Ben" or "John" etc from "Windows" ring to tell me someone has hacked my account and it will be closed down. I also played a game with a scam share sale.

However, I do worry about people who are taken in by this and I just hope a lot of them realise these are scams.

FOR RONNIE AND REGGIE MC

FORGOTTEN BREAK!

Last week I was thinking to myself that it would be nice to have a short break in this lovely weather, but knew everywhere would be booked.  That evening the phone rang and it was the person whose chalet we rent in Hemsby.

"Hallo", she said, "When you arrive on Wednesday do you want the children's beds made up?"  I assumed she had got the wrong person, but she said I had paid the deposit.

Then it all came back to me.  Last year I had put a deposit down on the week as I have the little babies for at least 3 weeks of the school holiday.  My daughter had already asked for the week off so I completely forgot about it as I wouldn't be bringing them with me.

So I have just come back from a lovely sunny break, which as I had forgotten I had booked, was all the more enjoyable as I hadn't had time to think about it too much.

 

AMERICA HAS GOT TALENT!

My little baby boy found this and said we should watch it as it was very good. He wasn't wrong!

THE DENIWATS/TALKING OF EASTENDERS/LITTLE BABIES' SUMMER HOLIDAYS

VISIT TO DENIWATS

Had lovely break in Exmouth with the Deniwats for a couple of days.  Then I stayed with my georgeous nephew and his fiance.  They live near the Blind Beggar Pub.  Unfortunately, it hadn't opened when I left so I never got to to look in to the bar where the Krays murdered George Cornell. (Murders are my specialist subject)!  They have a  huge market in their road. I thought they were only seen on Eastenders!  I will definitely go back for longer next time.  I have offered to flat and cat sit!!I m

TALKING OF EASTENDERS

I haven't watched it since the beginning of the year.  The reason was that although things happened but were sorted out in record time, it got silly with Aiden and his gang and also I don't like Kat.  My hairdresser keeps me up to date so I must start watching again.

LITTLE BABIES' SUMMER HOLIDAYS

They had 3 days and 2 sleeps with me last week.  As it was so hot they kept occupied by making dens in the house, drawing and then discovered the shed by the gazebo which they cleared out and made their own.

Little baby boy did say that he was looking forward to going home.  He doesn't usually, so I asked him why.  "Because we only have two more sleeps at home then were are going on our holidays!", he said.

I over heard them talking in the garden.  Little baby girl, asked little baby boy if he remembered the best friend they made in Turkey.  He said he did.  "Well", she said "what was her name?"   Well she was some best friend - they couldn't remember her name.