80TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION/MISTAKEN IDENTITY/WRONG NUMBER/BED BUG UPDATE

80TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

Celebrated step father's 80th birthday on Saturday with his friends and family.  He had a lovely time, but we had to keep shouting at him again because he had taken his hearing aid out as he could hear the music in the background!  

 

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Here we go again.  I had a cleaning job to cover at short notice and found out the location of the road on Google Maps.  Unfortunately, when I got there, I hadn’t brought the house number with me.  I knocked on a couple of doors but they didn’t know who I meant.   One of them told me to try the cottage on the corner.  I duly knocked on the door and a man answered.  Cleaning, I said.  Oh yes, what has happened to  Sue?  I thought they told you, she has the flu.   She phoned me 10 minutes ago to say she was running late, she sounded alright then.  Realising something wasn’t quite right, I asked Are you Mr  A?  No my name is Mr B and I thought you were my cleaner as she is due any moment now!!

Off I went rather embarrassed and eventually found the right house and person.

The next day, my phone rung at 6.30 am.  Knowing my daughter worked on this day, I thought she was ringing up for emergency babysitting.  When I got to the phone I listened to the answerphone message.

An unknown elderly woman’s  voice said  Don’t come and pick me up this morning, my leg is playing me up and I will have to see the doctor. Rather worried that someone was going to have a wasted journey, I rung the number and told her she had rung the wrong number.  OH, I wanted to tell Jim that I wasn’t going to the Day Care Centre today as my leg was bad, so I rung the Centre to tell them to tell him.

I explained again that she had rung my number by mistaken she needed to find the correct number to ring.  OH  Can you ring them for me? 

I gently told her I didn’t know the number or the Centre and she said she would try again.  I hope she found it. 

Had a flying visit from the Deniwats on Sunday.  We had a get together for Father’s Day, it was a pity the weather turned cold, still we all managed to cram under my sturdy gazebo.

BED BUG UPDATE

For those of you who asked me if contacted anyone about the bug problem, this is how the correspondence to the letting agency went.

I emailed them to confirm that I had no problems with the apartment, every thing was clean, but I thought they ought to know about the bed bugs as it might cause them a problem if someone else made a fuss.  I also said that they are on the increase due to people travelling and staying in hotels, etc, so it wasn't a criticism I was making.  I wrote to them in French via google translate, double checking it back in English to ensure it read right.  I google translated their French reply in to English.

REPLY 

Thank you for this message and its terrible pictures.

 

And I am EXTREMELY sorry for this problem encountered during your stay in Nice, and indeed, there never had this problem in this housing .

 

But what I do not understand is that it has been, since you left , two other locations, one for one night , and a second 4 night with two people, left this morning , which I ' I personally am departure. And neither of these tenants has had this problem or not told me .

 

Are you sure this comes well this home, this bed? Not in business or in the plane that brought you to Nice?

 

Because I 'd really like to understand indeed.

 

And it's strange because the mosquitoes are still present either at the moment. So between bedbugs and mosquitoes. It's really weird .

 

The general sincere pleasure to read .

 

My Reply

 

No I was sure I hadn't been bitten on the plane before I got there. The bites would have been around my lower back and bed bugs do not get through clothing.  It was definitely while I was staying there. Also research shows that the bites don't always come out immediately.

 

THEIR REPLY

 

 

 

 

I assure you that I called this morning guests arrived yesterday in the apartment for me assurter their comfort , and they have not spoken of any sting . I am disappointed, soincèrement . 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My reply 

 

 

 

I am not telling you this for compensation or bad publicity, I have told you the truth of what I know.  What you chose to do with it is up to you.  I'll say no more on the subject.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BABYSIT/WEST HAM UNITED MEMORABILIA SALE/DON'T LET THE BUGS BITE

BABYSIT

I had the little babies to stay for the night. When I tell Rio she's coming, he waits excitedly on the windowsill.  She loves him to pieces and plays with him all the time.  When she leaves he is worn out, but always goes back for more the next time.

Little baby boy made these rather delightful accessories, one for him and one for his dad.  I told him he should tell his dad to wear it for special occasions!

WHU MEMORABILIA AUCTION

This was held at the Boleyn Ground at Upton Park and marked the end of an era there.  The gates were withdrawn from the sale as they did not reach the reserve.  However, the plate from the steam locomotive named West Ham United, removed after it was decomissioned went for over £30,000.  It was an experience watching an auction in progress, especially when the American auctioneer started. Google the The Auctioneer's Song on You Tube and you will see what I mean!

DON'T LET THE BUGS BITE

I wasn't going to mention this, but I think perhaps I should as it could happen to anyone. I had a lovely break in Nice and Monaco over the Bank Holiday Weekend.  The weather was perfect.  The apartment was basic but satisfactory and it had a lovely roof garden.

As it was a studio flat everything was in the one spacious room.  It was even designed to enable you not to be left out of anything, as the glass shower cubicle was next to the settee!  It looked as if it should be containing Hannibal Lecter. However, once the hot water steamed it up it was quite private! 

When I woke up one morning, I was covered in bites which I put down to mosquitoes. They were very itchy and I wondered why they had picked on me.  I googled gnats and discovered that they were more attracted to people with an 'O' blood group which I am and that explained it, or so I thought.

The bites were still unbearably itchy when I got back and I then stumbled across the comparison between mosquito bites and bed bug bites.  Gnat bites are random, over the body, mainly white lumps,but not prolific.  Bed bug bites are smaller, round, very itchy and in clusters or lines.

They live in headboards, furniture and under the bed. At night they are attracted to the carbon dioxide we breathe out and the heat of our bodies.  The lines and clusters are where they have gathered while you sleep.  You will see a pattern on the position you sleep on.  When they are finished, they go back to their hiding places.  You don't see them on the sheets.  They are the size of an apple seed and are on the increase because people stay in hotels and travel more.  A place can be pristine but you can still get them.  They don't bite through pyjamas though. 

I was quite shocked when it sunk in.  I would have expected to find these in unclean bedding and surroundings, but that isn't the case.

I notice that a lot of holiday reviews mention that there were many mosquitoes sometimes when perhaps they weren't.

Sorry if I made you itch reading this, but it has been an eye opener to me.   

 

 

   

 

STOKE/BANK HOL/DAGENHAM MARKET/CITIZEN KHAN/LIPSTICK

STOKE

I have just come back from a long week end in Stoke on Trent.  We stayed at a Premier Inn at Trentham Estates.  What a lovely place.  I have never seen such a large garden centre and all the little craft shops around it.  It beats the usual out of town industrial estate where a lot of the hotels usually are.   

BANK HOLIDAY BREAK

 

I had lovely weekend visiting the Deniwats.  I was glad to see everyone so happy.  Unfortunately, I took some time to get there as I chose the Dartford Tunnel route to the West Country!!!!   

 

DAGENHAM MARKET

 

On Sunday we went to Dagenham Market and the weather was beautiful.  I never realised it was so big.  There was a fantastic plant stall and someone told me to get a bag and put the plants in it.  I did this and took them over to the stallholder.  “Self service is it?” he said, as he checked them off .  I told him that the lady over there had said that is how I should do it.  I must stop listening to what people tell me.

 

Before we left, I went in to the toilets which were in what looked like a container.  I had a bit of a job squeezing round the cubicle door to get in and the lady who went in to the other one commented to her friend outside that it was a tight squeeze.  When I came out to wash my hands and she was still in the cubicle, I agreed with her that it certainly was tight.  “You couldn’t eat all the pies if you want to fit in”, I said.  No reply.  This was probably to do with the fact that when she emerged, she had eaten all the pies.  Cue my quick exit!    

 

CITIZEN KAHN AT THE INDIGO 02

 

I looked forward to seeing this show as I love watching him on the television.  However, it just did not work on the stage as it was only him, Adil Ray.  Mrs Brown’s Boys worked because the whole cast was in the stage show, and this would have worked better if it was with the cast as well.

 

BABYSITTING 

 

I looked after little baby girl on her own on Thursday and she was a good as gold and no mention of mummy and daddy.  We went to Herne Bay on the train and mum forgot to give me the most important thing – the pushchair.  The beach was more stoney and she insisted on making sandcastles with dry sand.  The sun was shining and we had a lovely day.  That’s my childminding duties over unti the summer!

 We also took them to the circus and little baby boy had his photo taken with Spiderman and I bought an Elsa balloon for little baby girl.  Unfortunately she let it go and it joined all the other balloons in the gantry that had floated away.  I waited until they were dismantling the circus on the Sunday and asked about the balloon.  They gave me another one and the lady who gave it me was the contortionist who had made some mind boggling moves.  I asked about it and she said anyone could do it but it would need a lot of practice.  Somehow, the sight of me bending over backwards and putting my head through my legs is never going to be a possibility, no matter how much practice!   

LIPSTICK

My little baby boy has often commented on something I have worn and said I looked nice.  This week I put some lipstick which was very dark brown as I don’t feel right with light coloured lipstick.  He took one look and told me he didn’t  like it.  I asked him why and he said it made me look like a monkey!  

Well I wonder what he would have thought if he had witnessed The Curious Case of the Pink Lipstick. I had just gone in to the office to take over for the afternoon and my colleague who was just leaving was applying bright pink lipstick which really suited her.  I mentioned that it was not my colour so she told me to try it.  I put the lipstick on at my desk, tracing the outline of my mouth.  She looked at it and said it really suited me, so I left it as I had to deal with something straight away.

When I sat at my desk, my colleague facing me but  hidden behind her screen kept peering around the side and then looking away.  I got up to go and speak to another colleague about something quite mundane, but she appeared to be hanging on to my every word.  I then dealt with someone who seemed to be trying to get out of the automatic doors pretty quickly but I wouldn’t let him go until I was sure he had understood what I was telling him.

Later on, I decided to go and put the kettle and go to the staff toilet.  As I walked in through the door, I looked in the mirror that was facing me and was horrified to see this pair of bright pink lips staring back at me.   I hurriedly wiped it all and went back to the office.  “Why didn’t you two tell me how stupid I looked”, I yelled.   Well I thought we were going to have to get a supply of oxygen as they were helpless with laughter and took a while to gain composure.   “Well”,  she said, “we discussed it between us and decided that you must be trying out a new look and didn’t want to offend you by adversely commenting on it”.   She had been peering around her computer screen as she couldn’t believe her eyes, especially as I had put in on without the aid of a mirror and it was all over the place and in the style of Minnie Mouse’s lips.

The story was told many times but only two people ever got to witness it, not including the man who was trying to get away.

HEARING TEST/PRINCE RIP

 

HEARING TEST

Those friends and relatives that know my stepfather will totally understand why this happened to me yesterday.  I have finally convinced him that he needs a hearing aid and we went to the Audiology Department at the hospital.  When they called him we both went through and she told him to sit in a chair in the corridor.  Speaking very loudly to me she took me inside a room.  For a short moment I thought that I would have to speak from inside the room to see if he could hear me. When she sat me down and then went to shine a light in my ears, I suddenly realised she thought I was him and told her she had got the wrong person!    

PRINCE RIP

I went to see Prince at the 02 for his 21 nights in London for 14 of them.  He was amazing and no show was the same each night.  On the first night he finished playing and people were leaving when from the left hand side of the Arena, he and his band came walking back to cross the floor to the stage for an encore.  If the 02 was a ship it would have sunk with the amount of people rushing back in when they realised.  He only did it once, but the audience stayed put every night after his show just in case.

We had tickets in seats all over the Arena on those nights and we were on the floor right up against the stage which which shaped in his symbol.  It was very hight up and you had to stretch your neck if he did come over to your side.

We couldn't work out how he got on stage every night as we would see his band and dancers walk through the arena into a curtain his stage but there was no sign of him, until he started his concert.  We gradually worked out that the very large black box on wheels that they pushed along with them every night contained Prince.  So when they came past, we touched the box which is the nearest we ever came to touching Prince.

On the first night we bought a black tee shirt with the tour dates on and a lovely picture of Prince on the front.  When we went the next time, we decided to get another but were informed that the were taken off sale after the first night as Prince didn't like the design.  So this is quite unique, especially now.

 

      

BIRTHDAY BABYSIT/DAVID GOLD'S GARDENS

BIRTHDAY BABYSIT

Well I had little baby boy to look after on my birthday and in the evening his mum and dad and sister came over and we went to the local pub for a meal.

I had him again on Friday and we went for a train journey to Margate.  He wanted to see the new station at Rochester, but we couldn't get parked and ended up in Chatham.  Apparently Rochester Station's car park is owned by the council and is always full by 8 am.  We arrived in Margate and he thought it best if we got something to eat first so we went in to Wetherspoons on the sea front and I ordered 2 children's meals as I can't eat great big plates full.  It was excellent.  We then went on to the beach to build a sandcastle and then he wanted to go down to the water to get some in his bucket.  As he was wearing skinny jeans, I couldn't roll the legs up so I told him to take them off.  He duly did,  standing on one trouser leg to pull the other off, hence they were wet and sandy.  Luckily I found his jogging bottoms in his bag so when we left the beach I put them on him. 

We went to see Dreamland - what a disappointment!  An amusement arcarde with a roller rink and then you paid to go in to the actual fun fair, which wasn't anything special at all.  We caught the high speed train home and I must say I was shattered, but had had a lovely day.

I have got them both on Friday so have booked for the circus.

DAVID GOLD'S GARDEN

David Gold, co-owner of West Ham, opened his garden to the public for charity on Sunday.  When I say garden, I mean a full sized golf course type garden, with room for his helicopter and Bentley, Rolls Royce and Jaguar.  Obviously, we had to take Miss Mercedes to such an elegant venue, poor Miss Yaris is very bruised and battered at the moment!!! 

He posed for a photo with me, and before that someone had called him away to show him something.  I asked him if he had had to dash off and I think he thought I had asked if he HAD to dash off.  "No", he said, I live here!! 

There was a display of beautiful owls and in case you think that is a stylish white line pattern on my black top, it is owl poo.  Still it is supposed to bring good luck!!

ANT AND DEC/KITCHEN

ANT AND DEC

As I said in the TV Programme section, we were given priority tickets for the show after the terrible time we went before and didn't get in.  It was excellent and we had near front row seats.  The only thing with this is that the camera man is right in front of you when he is filming, but  new one next week.  It is amazing how much stuff you accumulate and I have already decluttered it once.  My little baby boy came to stay during the week and we made a shop on the dining table with the contents of the cupboards. 

GRANDMOTHER'S MOTHERS DAY

 

Well I had a lovely Mothers Day, the big and little babies came round for Sunday lunch.  I had a beautiful card from my grandchildren for Grandma on Mothers Day  signed by them with lovely little drawings of spiders they had done.  I started to read the words on the first page, they were lovely and so were the ones on the second page and everyone commented on them, but I wasn’t finished yet, there was a fourth page and by the time I finished on the fifth page, everyone was lulled in to a false sense of security and promptly woke up when I said that was the end.

 It reminded me of the time the Deniwat baby boys were singing me a song they had learned, when they had finished the verse I went to say how lovely it was and they started off again on the second verse and then another.  This always put me in good stead to wait until anything is completely finished before I comment!

LITTLE BABY BOY'S BIRTHDAY

It was my little grandson's birthday party on Sunday.  I didn't go as I had seen him on his real birthday.  I phoned him after it and he said he had had a good time.  I told him I would see him in the week and he said "bye Gran, Love you". Cue helpless tears!

Other than that, there is nothing else of note.  I am starting to clear the kitchen out ready for the new units.  I bought some copper pans and utensils from ebay.  Apparently you are supposed to bid for them.  I wasn't mucking about, I just paid what they asked for which was cheap enough.

CITIZEN KAHN/ON THE WAY TO WORK

CITIZEN KHAN

I’ve booked my tickets to see Citizen Khan, (Adil Ray) at the Indigo at the 02.  I love his humour.  The funniest one for me was when his son in law had a problem down below and when he found that the doctor was woman, he made Citizen Khan look instead, under a blanket, and describe the symptoms to the doctor. 

ON THE WAY TO WORK

A funny thing happened on the way to a job this morning  I left at the crack of dawn in the dark.  In front of me I thought I could see fog, but realised that the car in front was billowing smoke from all over.  It stopped at the traffic lights and a woman had got out. She was peering at me through the billowing smoke.  I pulled alongside and asked her if she was OK, as I realised that the car was in danger of catching fire. “Don’t worry”, she said, “it keeps overheating, I’ll ring my boyfriend”.  Quite what he could do I don’t know, but she seemed to be used to it, so I carried on on my way. 

 

THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO SEE THIS MR AND MRS DENIWAT

MY CARAVAN HOME

 

MY CARAVAN

Those of you who are reading my autobiography will know that my mum, myself and my two brothers lived in a 22 ft touring caravan after my parents broke up.  It was moved from the holiday site, down to the site where my grandparents lived and after looking for pictures of one like it on the internet, I found a postcard of the holiday caravan site which showed a caravan like ours.  On closer inspection and ascertaining the date of the photo, I am certain as I can be that the picture is of our caravan, as it is also sited in the correct position.  I haven’t seen one like it since, or before for that matter.

VACUUM CLEANER/BABYGATE

VACUUM CLEANER

Well I came across a Kirby cleaner on my work today.  I think I must have had the version made specially for a female weight lifter, as I couldn't lift it up the stairs!  No, that is not me in the picture.

BABYGATE 

I had the little babies last Saturday night.  I put them in to bed and then fixed the travel baby gate to the doorway  to keep them in.  Little baby boy informed me that he might want to go to the toilet in the night and I told him that I would take it down when I went to bed.  I didn’t tighten it up and lodged it in the doorway.   A few minutes later the living room door opened and in they came, saying they wanted to come downstairs.  I took them back up again and put them back to bed.  This time I proceeded to tighten the gate securely in the door way.  “Gran”, a little voice said “you’d better screw it on tightly as I got out EASY!”

 

MY JOB/ROY CHUBBY BROWN

MY JOB

I’ve  had quite a busy week with quite a lot of work on. I’m always learning something new, call me stupid (I know you will) but I never knew that the slatted shutters against  the inside window could be opened so that the windows can be cleaned.  Also you can never remove the “stains” from distressed furniture, the only one getting distressed was me!

I have just discovered something I don't know how I managed without - a steam mop.  I have never really been bothered about when since my eldest brother was singing the praises of one that he had just bought, to his wife and me.  He put it all together, put the water in and the elasticated cover on, ready to mop the floor.  We stood back as he switched it and triumphantly pushed it across the floor, only for the cover to pull off, just leaving the base.  We were convulsed with laughter and it never really sold it to me.

This is the brother I may add, who brought some roller boots from a boot fair to see if he would like roller booting.  He put them on, walked up the path and off he rollered, only to fall arse over elbow.  Cue helpless laughter again. The boots were put away, never again to see daylight!  

ROY CHUBBY BROWN  

Well I went to see him on Thursday, not my idea, I may add, but I was given a ticket as a present. This was probably pay back time for Dr Hook and Jimmy Cliff Mr Mrs Deniwat! I knew his language would be bad, but after watching Celebrity Big Brother, there wasn’t much difference.

It reminded me of the time I went to my first football match between two Premier League teams.  Being a people watcher, I was quite amused by the fact that our supporters and the other side were having friendly banter with each other,  and singing the delightful ditty Stick The Blue Flag Up Your Arse and others equally as good.  The players, apparently, were competing to get in to the Olympic diving team.  As well as that, they could also be feigning pain when they were tackled and brought down.  

Unfortunately, as the supporters were so busy calling to their friends in the opposing stand, they were missing the action on the pitch so when one of their players was fouled, injured etc, they had no clue how this had happened.  This didn’t stop them yelling at the referee.  I actually don’t know he qualified as a referee,  as according to the supporters,  he had a long protrusion sticking out from his forehead, he needed a white stick, his parents were  not married and he was definitely in the pay  of the management of the opposing team.  Obviously, anything yelled at him was full of swear words and to make their point, they even used swear words as adjectives to describe another swear word!  All of a sudden, when there was a quiet lull, someone yelled out “ twat”,  which, funnily enough seemed at the time  to sum it up as I was quite immune to the swearing.

In my younger days, I didn’t know what it meant, until one day I called my late husband one.  He went mad and asked me where I had got it from.  I told him I had heard someone say it and it just was an alternative to twit!  Wrong!   

   

SPROUTING TOMATO/TATTOO REMINDER/"DRINKING GLASS"

I found this tomato at the back of the vegetable rack. When I cut it open I didn't like the look of it, but on closer inspection, it had started to grow shoots. Might be an idea for growing tomato plants!

I wanted a tattoo, but not just any random one though. So designed this one with my little babies' names and birth dates on. It is on my right shoulder and serves as a reminder for me.

Those of you reading my TV PROGRAMMES page will recall that I said I thought I would copy Sharon's idea of drinking out of jam jars at The Albert. Well I have got the first of my collection. It won't take long to get a set as I have toast and jam every morning!

                    

 

 

                                         RIP SIR TERRY WOGAN 31 JANUARY 2016                        

 
                                                            JANUARY 2016
David Bowie                                                                                                      Alan Rickman
 
                    
         
                        Lemmy         Glen Frey       Dan Haggarty            Natalie Cole                             
     

WEEKEND IN THE NORTH EAST/DENTAL EXTRACTIONS X 2/RIO

LITTLE BABY GIRL AND "WE WO"

WEEKEND IN THE NORTH EAST

Had a lovely weekend in Durham with friends.  It was nice to catch up again with them after they moved up from Kent. It is amazing that due to work commitments etc you can be away from friends for years, but when you meet up again, it is as if you never were away.

DENTAL EXTRACTIONS

I have had an aching toothing for a couple of weeks and saw the dentist this morning after living on painkillers.  My dentist is so good that I am happy to wait for an appointment to see him, however long it takes, unless I am in severe pain.

He decided to removed the two back teeth and was going to do the one on the other side, but thought it might be a bit traumatic, so i have got that pleasure to look forward to in 2 weeks' time.  

RIO

This is the one dog that I have left now.  He always wanted to be an "only" dog and seems to be loving every minute of it.  He is much better behaved and at long last has decided to sit for me.  My little baby girl loves him and he never gets a moment's peace when she is here as he is being cuddled, stroked, talked to and sits in the chair with her.  He never minds one bit, but is usually quite tired when she has gone!   

MY COMPUTER REPAIRED AT LAST BY THE LOVELY JAMES FROM OUR TECHNICIAN

MY COMPUTER

My computer started to run slowly with unwanted adverts. Also Russian girls were asking me to chat to them and got very rude when I didn't. Well what did they expect, I can't speak Russian! James from www.ourtechnician.co.uk who taught me how to use my computer 3 years ago came and cleaned it up for me. It is running brilliantly now. I can't recommend him highly enough and he is always on call so I can nip any infections in the bud.

MISS YARIS/MY COMPUTER/NEW HOOVER

MISS YARIS

She had another flat tyre today.  The RAC mechanic put the funny little spare on for me and told me I could only go at 50 miles per hour.  He was wrong, I couldn't even do 40!

MY COMPUTER

My computer started to run slowly with unwanted adverts.  Also Russian girls were asking me to chat to them and got very rude when I didn't.  Well what did they expect, I can't speak Russian! James from www.ourtechnician.co.uk who taught me how to use my computer 3 years ago came and cleaned it up for me.  It is running brilliantly now.

NEW HOOVER

I bought a new hoover yesterday and it has a pet hair attachment.  This worked really well when I tried it and it can be used for other hoovering.  However, when I tried it, it wasn'tpicking up very well, although the brushes were spinning and I thought I might have to take it back.

A word of warning, when hoovering it is very helpful if you aren't trying to clean the floor with the attachment upside down!!!      

CHRISTMAS GROTTO!

I had my little babies on Christmas Night and part of Boxing Day. I made a grotto in the conservatory with a snowing Christmas tree and loads of fake snow.  I saved one bag so that I could make is snow on them.  Little baby boy loved it but little baby girl started to cry and couldn't be consoled, until it stopped snowing!